


Inescapable

by L122ytorch



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), The Force
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-06 18:51:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13417443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L122ytorch/pseuds/L122ytorch
Summary: Rey has a frightening dream that breaks the mental walls she has built up to keep Ben out.





	1. Chapter 1

Defeat lurked in the corners of Rey's shadowed room. She couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the latest turn of events. Unceremoniously, she paced the length of her small space, dragging her fingers along her neck until the skin was red with worry. Han Solo was dead. Luke Skywalker was dead. Leia seemed to be getting weaker by the day. The resistance was whittled away down to nearly nothing.

Days were spent trying to formulate plans, garner support, raise funds and fix what little fire power they had left. And while Leia was fantastic at raising morale and speaking of hope, it was hard not to feel inundated with doubt. 

The worst thing of all was that Rey couldn't approach Finn or Poe or Leia about the topic that bothered her the most. She was connected to the now, Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren. Their bond hadn't ceased after Snoke's death, which puzzled Rey to no end. A certain image was now burned into her mind...Kylo...Ben...kneeling, looking up at her as she urged the rebels to board the ship. Expecting their bond to be broken, seeing the familiar figure draped in black, a war raging in his expressive eyes, nearly knocked the breath from her chest. 

That was three months ago. Ever since, the resistance had attempted to regroup while Rey trained and spent the majority of her mental energy on keeping the bond securely closed. It was like building a wall in her head, pressing against the insistent pressure of their link, no matter what discomfort that brought her. As the days passed by, it only seemed to get worse. Rey felt miserable, tired and worst of all...empty. 

It was hard not to think of Ben. Even when Rey succeeded at pushing him out of her thoughts during the day, at night, her dreams would betray her. In sleep she could see him so clearly, his features coming into sharp focus, his presence looming over her and lighting her up with electricity. Even the short time they spent together in close proximity on the Star Killer made their bond hum. 

Especially in the elevator, when his eyes swept over her form as she stepped closer to him, when the clean musk and spice scent of him brushed over her, it made her want to whine in frustration. Undoubtedly she was attracted to him, but everything he is, everything he stands for is wrong. She feels like a traitor.

As if pushing him to the farthest reaches of her mind wasn't taxing enough, sometimes she felt him breeze along the barrier of her carefully constructed mental walls. It was as if he was waiting on the other side, longing pulsing through the cracks of her facade. But if she dared open the connection, who knows what she would find. Would he be in a torrent over his rejected proposal, would he tempt her with pleading eyes and full lips? Would he press her to come to him? Offer up solutions for their predicament?

It was too much. Rey didn't want to play on the slippery slope of "what ifs." She didn't want to think at all. 

So naturally, Rey escaped to the showers. 

After spending the majority of her life caked in sand, she often sought refuge in the warm water of the shower. It was quiet and peaceful and made her wish that she could take a bath so that she could completely envelop herself in the liquid warmth. When stressed, she spent far too much time in the shower; refusing to leave until her skin was agitated, pruned, and pink and the hot water had long run cold. 

Today was one of those days. 

By the time the slender Jedi-to-be emerged from the fresher, at least an hour had passed. Rey's adjoining room was free of steam and hit her with a wave of cold air upon opening the door. She shivered, quickly trotting over to her bed and the shelter of warm covers. The space was nearly bare and consisted of the color she had come to hate: gray. This whole damn planet was gray. The sky, the snow that reflected it, the structure they were housed in. It was enough to make Ray miss the lush green of Ahch-To, the blood red salt of Crait...but she would die before trading even this drab gray for the dust choked dunes of Jakku. 

Rey's life there had been a waking nightmare. And ever since leaving, it had been featured in countless sleeping nightmares. A thousand dreams of scavenging, starving, wandering the sun soaked yellow landscape until her lungs burned and her legs gave way. 

With a sigh, Rey tried not to think of sleeping, because when she slept, it was either dream of Kylo Ren or Jakku. 

No, for now, she would crack open an actual book that Leia had given her about the Jedi. 

She tried to soak up as much knowledge as humanly possible. Not only did it satiate her curiosity, but it was also a welcome distraction that kept her mental walls firmly in place against Kylo Ren. So she read nightly until her eyes grew heavy and each yawn would produce tired tears that tracked down her cheeks. Some nights she even fell asleep with the book on her chest. 

Tonight however, she had enough energy left to place the book back on her bedside table and shut the lights off before succumbing to sleep.

She could feel her thoughts pull away as slumber dragged her under. But where she expected to see some facsimile of Kylo Ren, she instead faced the seemingly endless landscape of Jakku. 

It was one of those nights. 

Unfortunately, this trip to the subconscious brought to life a dream that Rey hadn't had in ages. One that stung of realism and reeked of terror. Her heart beat wildly as she anticipated the events of the nightmare before they could even unfold. 

"No, no, no," she turned in the desert landscape, desperately looking for an out. "I don't want to do this," she said to no one in particular. 

Suddenly, she was sixteen again, standing at the edge of a downed ship she had intended to scavenge, when she heard voices. Trying to run proved useless as she found herself coming back to the same spot over and over again as the voices grew louder. 

Dreading what was to come, she yelled out, at first for help, and then for Ben. Surely, if he had been around when this happened to her, he would have helped her, he would have saved her. 

"Well, what do we have here?" the sickly familiar voice said. She turned to face her attacker and his accomplice. Taking a few steps backwards, she was met with the tipped down wing of the aircraft. There was no escaping. 

"Ben...BEN!" her shouts turned to screams.

But the large man was stalking towards her, touching her hips, sliding his hands up her ribs and to her breasts as she squirmed and shouted. 

To her relief, she saw Ben over the man's shoulder. Her eyes grew wide as hope washed over her. "BEN! HELP ME!" she screamed as the man twisted her, bending her body over the hot metal wing, while the accomplice held her arms still. 

Ben's face was alit with panic. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. As hatred and fury swept through his body, he lurched forward, running towards Rey. 

"REY!" he screamed, igniting his sickly red, tri-bladed lightsaber. But whenever he got closer, wind and sand whipped at him and he found himself being pushed backwards. 

"NO!" he screamed, overcome by helplessness.

Suddenly, jarringly, his eyes flew open and he sprang up disoriented. He was in a cold, dark room, and his wild eyes searched and found Rey, twisting in sheets on her bed. 

"Rey!" he shouted, reaching for her, but finding himself once again transported. Back to Jakku. Back to watching Rey, now struggling in the arms of the two men. "IT'S A DREAM REY," he shouted over the wind. "YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP!" But when he grasped at the air, he'd be back in reality, in Rey's room. His mind spun as he alternated between the desert landscape and the dark room, shouting in both for her to wake up.

Finally, in the dream, she looked over at Ben once more, their eyes locking as he screamed at her to wake up. 

With a start, she bolted upright in bed as a wave of raw force energy was expelled around her. Ben, along with what few objects there were in the room, were slammed into the furthest wall. A metal chair, table, cup and plate, a few books and the bedside table were all scattered on the floor, along with Kylo Ren.

Gasping for breath, Rey stumbled out of bed. 

"B...Ben?" her small, muscular frame stood awkwardly over the wreckage. 

He quickly stood, ignoring the blood dripping down his bare chest from where a leg of the metal chair had scraped him. 

"You're here?" 

He licked his lip nervously. "I'm not really here...we're...it's..."

"The force bond," she finished, surprised at the disappointment she felt welling up in her chest. 

"You were having a nightmare," he said. "You called to me. I heard you in my dream and somehow made it into your dream. But I couldn't help you there, so I tried to wake you up."

"Well, it worked," she rubbed absently at her left arm with her right hand. She could feel Ben trying to put a damper on his emotions, but failing spectacularly. Curiosity, anger, fear, possessiveness, shock, all flooded through the link between them. 

"That was a memory," Ben stated flatly, his chest rising and falling quickly. "Did they..." his bravado faltered as his mouth went dry. He couldn't finish the sentence. 

Rey took a breath to steady herself. "No, they never had the chance to...do that," she said quickly. "Unkar Plutt's thugs came looking for me because I was gone too long. They shot the first man and the second ran off."

Kylo nodded, relief saturating their link. 

"It's too bad I didn't have the satisfaction of slicing them limb from limb in your dream," Kylo's words trembled. Images of the men's filthy hands roving over Rey's body made his blood boil. "Did they do more than touch you?" 

Rey gulped, Kylo's anger was clearly visible, and the few objects in the room shook as he gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. 

She didn't want to put her answer into words, so she pictured what happened in her mind, knowing that Ben would see it too. 

The first man touched her, under her clothes. He exposed himself, rutted against her. Then the thugs showed up and shot him. Thank the Force.

As soon as she pictured it, Kylo spun around and slammed a fist into the metal wall behind him.

"I wasn't hurt," she tried to talk him down, but she was speaking only to his shaking back. His thoughts were a litany of curses and promises to obliterate Jakku and an overwhelming sense of 'mine.'

"I am not yours!" Rey said indignantly, stepping towards him.

He spun back around, a mop of unruly black hair trying to keep pace and landing haphazardly in front of his face. "Yes you are," he hissed through his teeth. 

Just as she was readying a deadly response, the bond shorted out and she was alone in her shaken up room. The only proof of Ben having been there were droplets of his blood on the floor and a fist sized impression in the wall.


	2. Chapter 2

Rey felt unsettled. Ben's words reverberated in her mind as she trained, as she ate, as she showered, as she lay in bed attempting to sleep. How could he believe that she was his? She belonged to no one. Granted, their bond was unique and freakishly strong...but that hardly meant that she belonged with him. Didn't it?

It was late, a week had passed since she last saw Kylo through the bond. Rey twisted and turned in her bed until her sheets threatened to strangle her slender form. What enraged her the most was the fact that she couldn't seem to get Ben off her mind. 

If she belonged to him, does that mean that he belongs to her? The idea of wielding influence over the Supreme Leader of the First Order was...something... But Rey knew that she could never get Kylo to abandon his designs to crush the rebellion. Perhaps she could at least find out what the First Order's plans for the galaxy were. At the present moment, they only seemed focused on amassing power and squashing the rebellion. But even if they did snuff out the rebellion, then what?

She turned over once more with a huff.

As Rey considered these things, a sick feeling crept into her stomach. There was something about using their bond for information that seemed inherently wrong. She could never use it for the rebellion's advantage, it wouldn't be right. But Kylo Ren was all about "wrong." Would he have the same reservations about using the connection for his purposes?

These questions and a whole host of others plagued Rey as the night slipped by. The most startling revelation of all was that she missed Kylo Ren. Something inside of her squirmed with delight at the sight of him in her chambers. Even though they often fought and were constantly diametrically opposed, he was like a piece of flint that she needed in order to spark her own fire. She craved his presence. Was this ripping him up as much as it was her?

In order to subdue the torrent of constant thoughts Rey threw herself into training. Some days she would spar with Poe, others with Finn, and when her friends weren't available, she would learn from whoever was around. Everyday she would sweatily emerge from training a little faster and a little wiser. Still, Ben's words would echo in the back of her brain..."you need a teacher!"

He was right.

She had outfought everyone at the rebel base. 

Out of frustration, she kicked at the nearest hunk of scrap metal until her foot ached with pain. Gritting her teeth, Rey inwardly fought the fact that she desperately wished she could train with Kylo Ren...no...Ben Solo.

Han Solo and Luke Skywalker were dead and Leia was far too weak to be her instructor. She needed a teacher. 

Walking back from the large hollow hangar where she sparred, Rey weighed her options, trying to come up with a solution. She couldn't train with Kylo, he was worlds away, he was the Supreme Leader, he was a darksider. She couldn't train with anyone here. 

"Woah, watch out," she heard, eyes snapping to focus to see Finn dodging out of her way. "Sorry Finn," she smiled. "Distracted much?" his eyebrows bunched together. She huffed a laugh, "a little. But I don't want to talk about me. Tell me about how you've been lately."

They walked down the drab grey corridor, falling into step. 

"Things are going well," Finn smiled. "I mean, aside from us being stranded here for the moment..."

"Yeah," Rey agreed. "If I see any more gray, my eyes will throw up."

Finn's mouth stretched into a smile. He seemed happy, weightless, and Rey was repulsed by the fact that she envied him. It felt as though the weight of the galaxy was on her shoulders and she had yet to tell anyone of her special bond to Kylo Ren.

"I have to say though," Finn added, "I don't think it's where we are that matters as much as who we're with." He purposely bumped against Rey's shoulder in a friendly gesture. 

"So things are going well with Rose?"

Finn's smile continued to grow. "Yeah, things are going really well," he answered, ducking his gaze. "I think she's the one."

"That's great," Rey grinned in return. "I'm happy for you guys."

Truth rang in her words, but jealousy continued to spike in Rey's heart. She could only imagine what it would be like to have a perfect match on the same side of the light as her. How nice it would be to live life with love, warm, blindingly bright love, just an arm's length away? It must be nice to have a friendly face there at the end of the day, asking how you are. Or to have a bed that isn't cold. To fill that ache of longing...

Suddenly, Ben's image popped into Rey's mind. His powerful endless gaze, pouting red lips, the long scar she gave him running through his flesh like a stream, imprinted itself into her brain. 

Keeping their connection at bay was taxing to say the least. So a week later, when Rey caught word that three First Order scouts had landed on the planet and were now torturing/interrogating their contact in the nearby city, she quickly volunteered to go on the rescue mission. 

Despite being a near-barren ice-box, this forsaken planet actually could boast of towns and cities, (not that the rebels ever got the permission to go into them). So this mission would be a chance to not only sharpen her skill against real opponents, but also be a nice escape from base and a rare chance to glimpse the city. 

Reluctantly, Leia approved of Rey to accompany Finn and another rebel fighter to the outskirts of the city where they believed the First Order scouts had their friend. Said friend was Clora Harlan, an old friend of Leia's that had helped the rebels gather more funding and keep an eye out for any First Order threats. They couldn't let her die.

"You ready?" Finn tossed protective clothing and goggles at Rey. He was already dressed, bundled up in yards of heavy white fabric to fight back the bitter cold. "Almost ready," she took the last layers of clothing and fashioned it around her body before pulling on the goggles and wrapping her head and face.

"What weapon are you taking?" he asked. "I know that you've been trying to fix Luke's lightsaber..."

"I haven't quite fixed it, so I'm taking this lightsaber," she said, flipping the switch to ignite a glowing green blade. 

"I like it," Finn nodded in approval.

The doors behind them slid open to reveal the third rebel to join them. It was another human, Jace. Rey had trained with him before. He was strong in the force, but not as strong as her. In another life, in another world, perhaps the three of them would be padawans fighting for the Jedi instead of rebels clawing at the First Order. 

"Let's get going," Jace said, gesturing towards the portal to the frigid outdoors. 

As soon as the metal slid open, a wall of breath-stealing cold hit the trio. It was going to be at least an hour long walk to the city through knee-high snow. Luckily they had snow shoes, water and the warmth of purpose pushing them forward. If it weren't for the rocky terrain surrounding their secluded location, they could've taken snowmobiles or land cruisers. But trees and rocks were scattered haphazardly everywhere and it was so cold that anything with an engine would be likely to stall. 

So they walked. And walked.

When the wind wasn't whipping violently, it was almost peaceful. Everything but the trees was a blinding bright white. But walking got old after a while. Finally, frozen branches and snow buried boulders gave way to clear space. The city was just ahead.

Rey could feel a sense of foreboding welling up inside of her and she should have listened to it more closely. 

Just as the three approached the building they believed Clora was being held in, a flash of bright light whizzed past Rey and hit Jace square in the chest. She was stunned, nearly too distracted to deflect the next blast with her saber. Finn had his blaster out, shooting at the assailant until the First Order scout was dead. But there were still two more. 

Jace was dead.

Finn and Rey sped into the building, winding through halls and kicking in doors until they found the remaining First Order scouts and Clora, tied up, bleeding, head unresponsively lolling to one side. 

The intel was wrong, there weren't two remaining scouts but four. Three ganged up on Finn and one on Rey. The first thing the scout's did was slice through Finn's blaster. Luckily, he had brought a back up lightsaber. 

The room was ablaze with green, blue and red as the six fought for their lives. 

By the time Rey had sliced through the scout attacking her, she looked over and saw an unconscious Finn, a scout about to sink his saber into his head. Rey screamed, pushing the scouts with the force and flourishing her saber. Now it was three against one. 

Rey's eyes seemed to burn with Red, it was everywhere, just as it had been with Kylo in the forest and the Praetorian guards in the throne room. She kicked one, slicing at another but only meeting his blade while she ducked the third. In a moment of luck, she swept her blade low, severing the legs of one of the scouts, as he sunk to the floor, she slid her saber into his chest. 

The two remaining scouts were relentless and it didn't help that Rey had just spent most of her energy trekking through the tundra. 

She dodged several swipes and jabs, managing to take down another scout, relishing the feel of her blade tearing through him. Blood as red as the lightsabers was pooling on the floor and Finn was still unconscious as the last scout stalked towards her. She could feel the darkness emanating from him, rolling off of him in waves that clashed with her light. 

Having defeated the other two and quickly running out of steam, she didn't have enough to strength to push him back as his saber drew nearer to her arm. Suddenly she smelled burning flesh as the brilliant crimson touched her upper arm. She screamed in pain, finally managing to push him back. With a blow she knocked his lightsaber from him and just as triumph surged in her chest, he began to force choke her. 

With her mental walls incapacitated, thoughts of Ben rushed to the forefront. If she was going to go out, at least she could savor seeing him in her mind's eye one last time.

But her breath rushed back as she was dropped, her feet hitting the floor, as another bright red blade shot right through the scout's chest.   
The scout, clad in white now dripping with red, grasped at his chest in shock. Then another blow came, and another and another, until the scout was on the ground. 

Behind him was a seething Kylo Ren splattered in blood, his hands shaking. His eyes snapped up to Rey and she witnessed the fury drain from them as concern flooded in. He shut off his lightsaber and stepped towards her, a black gloved hand reaching out to cup her face. He wiped away the flecks of red that dotted her cheeks like freckles and observed the column of her neck as she gasped for breath. 

"You...you killed him...even though you're not really here. You killed him through the bond. Is that...even possible?"

Kylo absorbed her words, turning and looking at his own storm trooper that lay in pieces on the floor. 

"I suppose it is," he faced her again.

She felt the fear surging through him. 'How close I almost got to losing you. You must be trained Rey...' she heard his thoughts. 

"I'm okay, I promise," she lied, blood streaming down her arm. The cut was bad and the burning of the skin around the wound was even more painful. 

His hand was still on her face, his body looming nearer with a tortured look in his eyes. He wanted to kiss her so badly that his body ached from it and he knew that she could pick up on it.

"You killed your own man," she stated plainly. 

His eyes shifted, threatened to display guilt, but he shoved that feeling away...hard. 

"He was very talented."

"He was hurting what's mine," Kylo Ren shot back instantly.

"I am not yours," Rey spat, flinging his hand off her face, despite how much she wanted to keep it there.

"We belong together Rey," he said simply. "You may not turn to the dark and I may not succumb to the light, but regardless of where we stand, we are bound.

"A bond that should be broken," the words tasted bitter on her tongue and sounded wrong to her ears. 

His mouth opened as if to speak but words fell short. His lips closed. He thought. He opened them once more. 

"You matter more to me than all the power in the galaxy," he nearly whispered. "When I say that you are mine, I do not mean that you are my possession. It's more the opposite."

"What do you mean?" 

"You have me Rey," Kylo attempted to explain. "I'm not so sure that our bond originated with Snoke. Our destiny's are intertwined...as much as you may hate it."

Tears tugged at Rey's eyes. She was more frustrated now than ever. She wanted Kylo. She hated herself for wanting him. She hated herself for not meaning it when she said that she wished to break the bond. She hated that Kylo Ren was standing before her with pleading in his eyes that she could barely refuse. 

Unsure of what to say, she stood, trying to memorize his face for the next stretch of time when she'd have to put him away, block him out.

It startled her when he ungloved his hand and brought it to hers. He held it, stroked it, lighting the fire that had been burning in her core since the night they first touched hands in the hut. Blood was dripping off her fingers having made the journey down her arm. He slid his hand up her arm, soaking his hand in her blood, stopping just before her wound. 

His body was so close that his breath breezed through her hair and caressed her neck. He turned, craning his head to place a kiss on her shoulder, just above where the wound was, but the skin was still bathed in blood. 

He pulled away, his full lips dripping with her copper tasting blood. It slid down his chin. His eyes had gone black beneath partially closed lids. Kylo Ren moved to whisper in her ear, "we belong together Rey." He kissed her neck, light as a feather, leaving the imprint of his lips on her neck in her own blood. 

The sound of a groan suddenly filled the room as Finn began to regain consciousness. 

Kylo stepped back and looked over at Finn with a smirk. "Quite the useless Jedi isn't he?" he chuckled darkly. "You should get yourself more talented friends Rey."

He disappeared.

Rey rushed over to Finn and helped him up. She could feel the string of the bond humming appreciatively in her chest. Her flesh felt like it was on fire where Kylo Ren had kissed her neck and it was almost enough to distract her from the pain in her arm. 

Finn quickly wrapped Rey's arm and checked on Clora. She was unconscious, but alive. Her body was small and thin and the two would have to carry her back on a stretcher, or else Finn could hoist her over his shoulder. Either way, they'd figure it out. 

They out of the building and headed back to the forested winter wonderland, when a realization colder than the wind hit Rey square in the chest. 

Kylo Ren...Kylo was there...he saw the storm trooper scouts and Clora...he may know where they are.


End file.
